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titleGot a secret? Here's how to keep it.

subject date15-03-2021

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caption40 DOLLY DOLLY.COM.AU WORDS GYAN YANKOVICH PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES DOLLYFRIENDSHIP Got a secret? Here’s how to keep it. Psssst! We’ve got the tips to help you bite your tongue – even when you’ve got the biggest goss ever. I magine this: your friend – let’s call her Emily – has been going out with her boyfriend Jack for a few months now. They’re way adorable as a couple, everyone thinks so. Everyone also thinks they’re totally together forever. Cute, right? Right. That is, until Emily pulls you aside at a party one night to tell you she’s just “accidentally” made out with the hottest guy in your group, Ryan, for a good half-hour upstairs. Before you even have time to think about whether this means Emily and Jack are over – and before you wonder if Ryan is still awkwardly hanging out upstairs, the first thing to run through your mind is, “What will everyone do when they find out?” Even though you’re the only person who knows, other than the lip-lockers. Emily realises it probably looks pretty suss that you guys are whispering in the corner, so she goes to join everyone on the DF – right after a quick, quiet, “Don’t tell anyone” in your ear. And BAM, you’re the official keeper of one massive secret… So, now what? do0813_ FE_ keepasecret_ secp40 - 40 2013-07-01T12:10:27+10:00

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titleGot a secret? Here's how to keep it.

subject date15-03-2021

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captionWORDS GYAN YANKOVICH PHOTOGRAPHY GETTY IMAGES Why you need to stay quiet You walk back into the party and look around the room. You see the girls and imagine their reactions to the news. You notice Ryan’s best friend and just picture telling him. Oh, the thrill… But hold up! You need to take a second to pause right here and bite down on that tongue of yours, as tricky as it may be. Think about this: “The closer you are to a person, the more personal your discussions with them will be,” says clinical psychologist Jo Lamble. So, chances are, if someone’s spilled their deepest and darkest to you, it’s because you’re pretty special to them. “Close friendships are formed by the sharing of information, including secrets,” explains Jo. “The quickest way to ruin a friendship is by breaking that friend’s trust.” Secret-keeping tip #1: The best thing to do after you’ve just heard a juicy one? Weigh up those crazy reactions with how much your friend means to you. Would being the bearer of juicy goss really be worth losing someone spesh?The secret “exception” When it comes to secret-keeping, you’re totally allowed to tell your best friend, right? WRONG. When you’re keeping someone else’s news to yourself, it can be easy to think you’re still being a great vault even if you only tell your bestie – but that’s not the case at all. Secret-keeping tip #2: After hearing a secret, get through one conversation with your best friend without mentioning what you’ve been told. Chances are, after this initial convo and opportunity to spill, the urge will be weaker the next time you speak to her. Why’s it so damn hard? “Secrets are exciting. They bubble away inside us, desperate to come out. If you have a big secret, it can feel almost impossible to hold it in,” says Jo. It’s also quite common to become the one in the group who’s known as a great listener, but secrets build up and the