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titleWhen someone you love falls ill

subject date15-03-2021

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caption104 DOLLY DOLLY.COM.AU What can I do? Riding out emotional waves doesn’t sound like an easy feat, does it? Jodie suggests three practical tips to help. Let it out “Talk to close friends, a parent, teachers or relatives about how you’re feeling. You might also paint or draw to release your emotions,” says Jodie. Try writing some words in a journal. They don’t have to even make sense, just get them out of your head, stat. Get moving “Exercise gives our bodies the opportunity to release the stress and produce happy endorphins,” says Jodie. Enlist a buddy to go for a walk or jog up a storm on the treadmill to your favourite playlist. WHEN SOMEONE YOU LOVE falls ill Why am I feeling so cray cray? When the life of someone we love is threatened, it can leave us feeling helpless, anxious and even a bit scared. Psychologist Gemma Cribb (equilibriumpsychology.com.au) says the initial shock can make you feel like the situation is surreal. “This is followed by fear or anxiety about what’s going to happen, sadness about potentially losing the person you love, and anger, which can be directed at the person who is sick, the doctors or even no one in particular,” says Gemma. Psychologist Jodie Thelning (best lifepsych.com.au) agrees. “When we experience significant sudden change, and life as we know it feels threatened, it’s normal to experience many emotions, sometimes all in one day.” Gemma says it’s also important to acknowledge your feelings, rather than suppress them. “Don’t expect yourself to act like nothing’s wrong,” she says. “Tell people what you’re going through so their expectations can be modified as well.” It can be crippling when a person close to you gets sick. DOLLY explores ways to ride out the emotional wave. M onique, 17, was at school when she got the call. “It was Dad and he was speaking really quickly. He said Mum was very sick and that it would be best to come

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titleWhen someone you love falls ill

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captionCALL 13 61 16 TO SUBSCRIBE DOLLY 105 Identify what you CAN change “When a close friend or family member becomes sick, there’s so much of the situation that’s out of your control,” says Jodie. So when you’re feeling overwhelmed, Jodie suggests writing down the specific thing that’s bothering you (for example, it could be seeing your family members upset) and identifying which part of this situation you do have the power to change. “You could think, ‘I may not be able to stop the illness but I can make dinner tonight and be helpful around the house’,” says Jodie. “When we have a clear idea of what is in our control and let go of what’s not, we experience less anxiety.” ill But I don’t know what to SAY? It can be tough to know what to say to the person who is sick. “The most important thing is that the person knows you care and feel concerned for them,” says Jodie. “Sometimes this is expressed in words such as, ‘How are you feeling today?’ or, ‘How did the doctor’s appointment go?’. Other times it’s expressed by things that you do, such as bringing the washing in. Both ways are equally as valuable.” Gemma warns not to try to cheer the person up with humour if they haven’t asked. “Using humour or false positivity in this context is a way of avoiding feelings and stops the sick person from feeling understood and connected to you,” says Gemma. She suggests keeping it real with one of the following convo starters: “I don’t know what to say but I want to help”, “I’m so upset that this has happened. I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling” or “Please let me know what I can do to help you.” When it happens to a friend… Jodie offers tips on how to help a friend dealing with this tricky emotional sitch. Lend a friendly ear Sometimes it can be hard to listen, particularly when the topic is on repeat, but listening is the most valuable thing yo