id169433010233344

supplier accountmagazinefeatures

file namedo1308-do0813p100.jpg

titleQuiz - To dump or not to dump?

subject date15-03-2021

place

credit

captionDOLLYRELATIONSHIPS NOT T O DUMP OR NOT T O DUMP? How do you know when it’s time to kick your boyfriend of f your A-team? ust like there are A-grade celebs and their less-famous counterparts, boyfriends exist in a (theoretical) hierarchy. At the top are the rom-com-worthy love gods, next are the BFs who could use a little work and then, at the bottom of the boyfriend pyramid, are those guys who need to be replaced with BF 2.0, stat. Sometimes, though, when you’re all caught up in a whirlwind of text-athons, DVD nights and sneaky pashes after school, it can be hard to decide which category your boy falls into – even if something starts feeling a little not-quite-right. Cara, 15, knows this dilemma all too well. “I’ve been hanging out with this guy from school, Zac, for around a month. We get on but I’m worried because he never tells me I’m pretty or does romantic stuff, so I’m not sure whether to break up with him,” she says. Violet, 16, is also confused about her guy. “My boyfriend and I have been going out for three-and-a-half months, and at first it was great, but now all he talks about is sex. I’m scared it will hurt and he won’t take no for an answer. I don’t know what to do because I’m not ready.” So, short of posting a public poll on Facey asking your 457 nearest and dearest whether you should stay or go, how do you decipher between a dumpable offence, and a speed bump that simply requires a little navigation? We break it down for you. J 1 23 6 8 4 100 DOLLY DOLLY.COM.AU The Relationship Speed Bump: He’s pressuring you into sex PROCEED WITH CAUTION IF: You haven’t expressed clearly that you’re not ready. There’s a chance he might assume you’re as keen as he is – so let him know that while you heart his little cotton socks, you’re not up for going further right now. Clinical psychologist Jo Lamble suggests saying, “I love hanging with you but I’m not ready to go

id169433010233345

supplier accountmagazinefeatures

file namedo1308-do0813p101.jpg

titleQuiz - To dump or not to dump?

subject date15-03-2021

place

credit

captionThe Relationship Speed Bump: He puts you down PROCEED WITH CAUTION IF: He’s genuinely unaware of how he’s making you feel. There’s a chance he thinks he’s just being funny. If so, let him know his jibes hurt your feelings and see whether he reins them in. Try saying, “I don’t want to sound oversensitive, but I’m finding some of your comments a bit cutting. I know you’re often just joking but I’d rather you didn’t rib me all the time – it gets a bit much,” says Jo.HEAD STRAIGHT TO DUMPSVILLE IF: He’s aware his comments make your heart go “ouch” – and keeps them coming. A relationship should be about wanting to make each other happy – and if he’s hurting you, he doesn’t deserve BF status. 5 9 7The Relationship Speed Bump: He tries to manipulate you PROCEED WITH CAUTION IF: It’s happened once or twice. If he tries to convince you to sneak out at night, and gives you a guilt trip if you say no, Jo suggests saying, “I’m hoping one of the reasons you like me is that I think for myself. That’s why I won’t – it’s not my thing.” HEAD STRAIGHT TO DUMPSVILLE IF: He plays head games, like saying you’re imagining things when you bring up probs with his behaviour, or forcing you to do things you’re not OK with, and says you’d do it “if you really loved him”. If your boy tries to control you like this, send him packing asap. The Relationship Speed Bump: He cheated on you PROCEED WITH CAUTION IF: You don’t have cold, hard evidence. Don’t rely on rumours or your suspicions. Jo suggests saying, “You know I like being with you, but I’m worried ’cos I’ve heard some rumours about you. This is what people are saying… This is what I’ve noticed… Can you tell me the truth – what’s going on?” HEAD STRAIGHT TO DUMPSVILLE IF: He’s confessed to cheating, (or denied it but reacted super defensively) and you’re not confident that he’s genuinely remorseful, or that it won’