id169427910233075

supplier accountmagazinefeatures

file namecl1304-cl0413P156.jpg

titleHow to spot a speed dater

subject date15-03-2021

place

credit

caption156cleo.com.au Text Edwina Carr. Photography Nick Scott/ Bauersyndication. com. au. * Name has been changed. posed for by models in no way ass ociated with this story. speed dater M eeting a dude who’s head over heels for you is super flattering, right? But if he barely knows you and is becoming more attached than you are to your GHD, it might not be so great. That’s what Sienna, 24, found when she started dating Luke*. “I was excited by how forthcoming he was. But a couple of weeks in, he left his toothbrush at my place and was putting pressure on me to label our relationship,” she says. hit the accelerator Rom-coms have taught us that, yes, love at first sight is totally possible, but the less romantic reality is that his behaviour might be due to low self-esteem. “He may have developed this ‘need for speed’ in his earlier relationships, where it was necessary to make sure those he cared about stuck around,” explains relationship counsellor and sex therapist Christina Spaccavento (sydneysextherapists.com. au). “Or he might be seeking your validation for his ‘good’ behaviour.” get into neutral If he’s throwing around words like ‘love’ and ‘forever’ after only a short while, it might be wise to take a quick time-out. Realistically, a genuine loving bond will Gone straight from the first kiss to fave baby names? It may be time to pull the handbrake. take a lot longer than a few weeks to develop. “Relationships are based on couples developing a strong bond in all areas – interpersonally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually, mentally, intellectually and physically. Both partners need to be equally committed,” says Spaccavento. slam on the brakes Letting love unfold slowly is clearly a notion Luke isn’t familiar with. After the toothbrush incident, he began paying surprise visits to Sienna’s house and talking to her about meeting his