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Change your words change your life

15-03-2021

2021

A Better You articles

How you say things to yourself can either propel you forward or hold you back! Here, Helen Foster reveals how to banish those negative phrases. Good Health; issue 0413; p076 - 079; Text Available

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caption76 change your life! Change your If you want to get on in life it is generally good to say things to people in the right way. But the way you talk to yourself is equally important in helping you achieve your goals and feel happy with life. Sometimes just changing one word in a sentence can make it more powerful. Other times you need to erase entire phrases from your mental vocabulary. Here are nine ways to mind your language. How you say things to yourself can either propel you forward or hold you back. Here, Helen Foster reveals how to banish those negative phrases gm0413ban2p76.pdf Page 76 12/02/2013, 12:43:27 PM

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caption77 goodpsychology. Phrase to ban... I AM A STRONG,CONFIDENT WOMAN Or any other positive-thinking/ a rmation-type statement. They work for people who are already con dent, but studies at Canada’s University of Waterloo in Ontario found that people with lower self-esteem feel sadder and less optimistic about what they can do after repeating general positive thinking statements. “However, there is some evidence that more speci c targeted phrases might help,” says psychologist Rob Yeung in his book You Can Change Your Life (Macmillan, $22.99). He suggests replacing vague a rmations with phrases that explore exactly how you will act in a speci c situation. For example, if you are trying to raise con dence, say ‘Next time I am at a party and feel shy, I will put my shoulders back, smile and ask the nearest person who smiles back how they know the host’. Phrase to ban... I’M TOO OLD FOR ALL THAT There are countless studies now showing that our attitude to ageing can in uence how successfully we grow old. In her book Counterclockwise: A Proven Way To Think Yourself Younger and Healthier (Hodder, $22.99), psychologist Ellen Langer writes about an experiment she once did. She asked a group of elderly men to live in a house set up to represent their heyday – 1959. Everything around them took them back to their prime of life. After a week, the men stood straighter, walked faster and had better hearing. Acting younger had literally turned back their body age. “Age is merely a number and youth is a state of mind,” says performance coach Narelle Lee. “My challenge to anyone who says they are too old is ‘says who?’ – and in most cases there is not an answer that really stands up.” Phrase to ban... I WOULD LOVE TO... BUT I... According to Andrea Gardner, author of Change Your Words, Change Your World (Hay House ebook, $1.99), the words ‘but I…’ immediately put up barriers in your

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caption78 Phrase to ban ... I HAVE TO... Just reading ‘have to’ is enough to create feelings of resentment, so no wonder you fi nd it hard to keep up momentum to exercise, quit alcohol, eat your portions of fruit and vegetables. “Instead, spend some time brainstorming all the pleasure you’ll get from achieving your aim and then turn the statement on its head,” says Victoria Morrison of Life Fitness Coaching, in Sydney. So, if you want to avoid drinking fi ve days a week, don’t think about the days you’re not going to drink. Instead, tell yourself ‘I get to really enjoy a glass of wine two days this week.’ Or look at a major benefi t of the days you won’t drink, ‘Yay, for fi ve days I get to wake up with a clear head.’ It makes the aim more something you want to do, not what you have to do! Phrase to ban... DON’T FORGET TO... Always cursing your appalling memory? It might not be your ability to remember that’s failing, but the way you’ve told your brain to action the deed. “The subconscious doesn’t hear the words ‘not’ or ‘don’t’ so, in this instance, you’re eff ectively telling it to forget,” says feng shui consultant Debra Jarvis. Jarvis suggests telling yourself to remember things instead. “It’s also a more uplifting way of thinking,” she says. “The word ‘forget’ also has a feeling of loss about it which doesn’t make it appealing. ‘Remember’ has a lighter, happier, more joyful energy, making it something you’re far more likely to achieve.” Phrase to ban... BUT WHAT IF...? Okay, you can say this phrase if you are genuinely asking about a possible problem to which you might nd a solution. But, if you normally say it while in a state of stress or panic about things that may never happen, it’s time to stop. “This is called catastrophising and it can increase stress and anxiety,” says psychologist Marika Conomos. To stop ‘but what if’ thoughts

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captiongm0413ban2p79.pdf Page 79 19/02/2013, 3:26:44 PM